Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Index listings which, if included in my biography decades from now, would suggest that the second half of my life did not go well

Governor’s mansion drunkenly ransacked by, 103-105
reality show participation of, 107, 108
Major league baseball mascots assaulted by, 111, 114
Matlock memorabilia collection of, 120, 122

PBS:
pledge drive hosted by, 127
on-air profanity accidentally uttered by, 128-130
FCC endorsed televised flogging of, 131

bone marrow sold on black market by, 134

Saved by the Bell:
reunion enthusiastically supported by, 137, 139-141
cast members restraining order repeatedly violated by, 141,144,147-149
NBC parking lot indecent exposure arrest of, 149-151

Miracle ear phone sales career of, 152-155

herbal Viagra:
dangerously excessive use of, 157-159, 160, 162, 165
lawsuit initiated by, 166-168
47 dollar out of court settlement happily accepted by, 169-171

nationwide manhunt for, 174

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